DAY 26: Phoenix Afuye


My twitter friend and blogger… Enjoy! 😀

Okay so here I am. I don’t know what date this is going to be featured so I cannot drop a badass quip but I am still going to pay tribute to Ice-prince (why are y’all giving me that side-eye?? Everyone else is doing it joor) So Imma drop a quip over electronic media, call me E-quipped. Hehehehe, see what I did there?? I know you did *adjusts ‘Cantona-ish’ collar. I just might drop another Ice bar at the end of this post if I’m not feeling too depressed or maybe I should just speak my thoughts in Ice bars. Ok, Iyaff do; I’m about to start ranting.

So as a way of introduction, I’m really a cool storyteller so I rule over ‘cool stories’ call me Ice-Prince, see what I did there??, oh you didn’t. Sighs!!!. Moving on, so I tell really cool stories so adjust your seatbelts, grab an emesis bag and ‘bon voyage’.

Anyway, 2013 was juuuust ‘bleh’. Coming off an epic 2012, I thought 2013 was gonna be the bomb; nah scratch that, I expected 2013 to be the bomb asinn whatnot even the year started on a gangsta note. I was just sitting in my room, recently awoken from my short nap after crossover service and preparing to hit home and enjoy peppersoup and moinmoin and ish when my friend called me to say I should come provide entertainment for his family’s get together for a coupla hours and I got paid well so in my mind, I was like Yes Lord, Yes Lord, Yes Yes Lord this is what we are talking about.

Fast forward to December 4th (the day I wrote this post), depression and mania past, 2013 greatly underperformed mehn, e just dey pour sain-sain inside my Ogwo.

But I’m grateful to God, grateful to family and to friends for an eye-opening year. Anoti, BJ, Bamba, KK, Onochie, Suraj, Saggy, Teenizzle, B.Tiwi, T.Debb, Tolani, Leye, Newton, Ose, Ibukun, Shallom, Jeremiah, Foluke, Teamma, Fiyin, this year would have been utter decomposed Cow-dung without you (But wait, isn’t Cow-dung what they used to eat in Igbo land??? Never Mind)

PS: IF you dinor see your name, ma binu. You know my ill-famed memory is legendary.

Okay, back to the matter.


(1) When I won 100000 USD. Damn, you should have seen me go absolutely gaga, mental, I was even sweating like a whole bucket of ice had drenched me “After I woke up”

Now come to think of it, I cannot particularly point to one high point. Mehn the year was really one busload of Igbo shit. Okay, I started my blog, wrote a piano manual.


There was that 21 week period when I was absolutely and unashamedly broke. I had never been so broke in my life and neither will I ever be. Hope all of you that refused to give me jobs are seeing this post. It was all your fault after-all.

Then there was that 62-day period when I battled with severe depression (don’t ask me how I remember the exact duration. I lied. My memory is not that good)

Then the most recent where I have been lacking drive, motivation and I have been possessed by self-sustaining sloth and apathy.


At least there were plenty of this e.g. when My slippers came off in the middle of one half of an 8-lane freeway and I had to go back and pick it. Also there are some I would conceal in order to avoid embarrassment (not me, I can’t be embarrassed)

Things I’m grateful for:

I’m grateful for my mum, my dad, siblings, cousins, friends, (thankfully I have no haterz or enemies, blame It on God’s Love and favour).

I’m grateful for Life, I nearly lost my life on quite a number of occasions that people never totally believe me when I tell the stories. Well, I now have developed a healthy respect and love for this Life.

I’m grateful for health. This is the 2nd year running in which I consumed no drugs and was in perfect health a coupla common colds aside, also I’m grateful that this extends to family members and friends since I’m quite awkward with sick people

I’m grateful for the gift of single life. Mehn, its been bliss.

I’m grateful for Love. This year, it was just like I had a sign on my head that said “Love him” wherever I went.

I’m grateful for friends and homies and bloodz (in that order).


(1) Friends important

(2) Family is doubly soooo

(3) Akara doesn’t go down well with Fufu

(4) Village life is very very sweet

On a more serious note, Life is not a bed of roses but neither is it a pot of spoilt beans and it tends to help you multiply your input and return it to you.

No man is an Island, Open up your heart and love people for who they are, don’t judge, don’t analyze, just love. You gastu work hard man (for myself). There is always more than meets the eye but you don’t need to go looking for it.


(1) I want to get a job in a studio or for Jam sessions.

(2) Improve in the aspect of self-discipline

(3) Maybe fall in love (oya see them raising their hands. Cool ya…)

Oya thank you for listening to my cool story and One thousand Twale to Adepero for letting me occupy this space and to bore her fam with cool story and Ice bars. I hope y’all had a better 2013 than I did and I wish y’all the greatest in 2014. Peace out

(I’m almost at 1000 words, short story limit). 100% sure I am going to have the longest post up here.

Oh, my promise. My name Is Oluwaseun, I have a good liver and I enjoy Twisty’s so u can call me O’liver Twist (L’ebete). *looks to the chief protocol officer* is there time for another?? No??? Sighs!!!!!

Tales by a mentally deranged mosquito.

Compliment of the season!!! 🙂 😀

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