It’s 2:15am and sleep wouldn’t come, so I decided to do one of my favorite things. Write. Write about what has been on my heart for a while now. My loss.
I remember how we met, Ba’ami always telling me about someone that is always asking of me, this person that usually send gifts to me through him. I was in 100Level. I had wondered how kind you were, you had never met me but you still gave so much to me. I was tired of meeting people, Ba’ami always want me to meet someone. We started talking on phone superficially and it went on till I was in 200 Level and we became closer, I started visiting once in a while because I rarely leave school, but we kept in touch via text messages. It was our favorite method of communication.
On several occasions while I’m thinking, Dear Lord, please provide for me and in the blink of an eye, I get an alert. Without asking, perhaps, we’ve not spoken in days but you always remember me. You’ve been very interested in my progress.
I remember buying you Christmas gifts with part of the money you once sent me. You danced because you loved what I got you and the note. I thought in my heart, this is little compared to what I have in my mind for you. It is so small compared to what you’re worth. But you were so happy.
As time went by, we became closer, my academic promotions made you very excited and your support and encouragement keep me going. In times, I feel like throwing in the towel and I remember you, I tell myself, you can’t afford to disappoint her. Pero, you just can’t!
I was touched when I realized your kind acts were not only to me but to others around you. You did all you did because you loved me. You weren’t expecting anything in return.
Well, girls usually have wedding fantasies, my only fantasy has been to have everyone who God have placed strategically in my life on the high table on my wedding day. I don’t care how long the table would be. I had pictured you there, smiling, celebrating six years of your contribution to my life through med school.
I wish I had known, our last call was going to be the last time I will hear your voice. I thought it weird too but it just didn’t click, you hardly call, we hardly talk but mostly chat. I didn’t read the signs, at least, I didn’t think you were going to die. The next day, my dad called me to tell me what you said about me’ “Pero is a person of integrity.” I was surprised because you never tell my dad whatever we discuss, I just smiled and thought it strange and I told my roommate. I was excited you thought of me in a good way.
You sent me birthday gifts, you never miss them. We chatted you said you were better, you said you were fine, you said you were ok.
But nine days later you left…
When Ba’ami called, I was confused, I read our last chat. You told me you were fine. I wept so much, my roommate that was trying to console me broke into tears. I questioned God! I said a lot of things, thank God for my roommate.
After mum’s death, this is the most broken I have been. I just have a few months left in medical school and you left.
I had imagined us taking a picture I would frame.
I had imagined my induction party, Ba’ami and I had a discussion on how you will come and how happy you’ll be. You practically adopted me as your daughter. You were my angel in human body.
I had said I would ask you why you loved me so much? I just can’t fathom it each time I wondered. What was it about me that you loved? What was so special about me?
I can never forget you, my unborn children will know about you and I will build you a memorial.
You were love personified. Your life and death taught me a lot.
I am not the same person I was. I‘ve changed.
I have decided to be happy no matter the situation.
Not to tight the world to my chest.
I have decided to do whatever makes me completely and totally happy.
To take selfies even if I’m not a picture freak, it may be the last piece of the loved ones we have left.
I have decided to be happy because life is vanity.
I was rest assured when I was told you were ready cos of your actions. My heart is at rest knowing you’ve gone to a better place. Your good deeds will forever be remembered and I’ll build you a memorial.
Adieu Ebere. Till we meet to part no more.