Day 1: Temitope

Welcome to the 2017 Edition of 31Days 31Voices. It is time again for us to gather around the fire of time and share our stories. I cannot promise you’ll find reason, answers or even comfort here, but I can assure you that you will will find kin. Stay with us as we journey into the new year. Wishing you all the love, hope and warmth of the season brings.

Love,

Perry.😘

2017 was not at all what I expected.

First I thought I would be in a relationship, have a stable source of income, then I would have life figured out and start planning a wedding [I am not that old o].Instead God changed my myopic form of thinking into something grand.

He taught me how to love. I cried a lot in 2016 and I knew 2017 would be the exact opposite. Little did I know that the tears would be nothing compared to what I had ever known. I lost someone very dear to me. I mourned her greatly but I am glad she died. The 2016 version of me had to die for the 2017 me to emerge and so there was a rebirth.

2017 taught me the power of friendships and conversations around you. I had been out of communication with few friends who were true confidants and so I felt alone in the new phase of life 2017 brought me into.

I began to lose my self-esteem and looked down on myself greatly especially when friends gather in cliques and I had to stand alone. It had never bothered me before until 2017. I went from one emotional catastrophe to another. I mean I have friends I can hook up with and confide in but I had not paid attention to those relationships and they fizzled out. I learnt really hard and really bad how people would prey on the naïve to accomplish selfish goals. I also learnt that relationships are like machines; they must be serviced regularly for the engine to keep running. [To all my friends that I neglected because life happened, I am sorry o. E ma binu].

It was in this phase of pain and hurt and betrayal I began to seek God again but this time not to deliver me from the predicament but to show me what exactly I needed to learn so that I do not have to go through this again.

2017 was not at all what I expected. First I thought I would be in a relationship, then I would have a stable source of income, then I would have life figured out and start planning a wedding [I am not that old o ] Instead God changed my myopic form of thinking into something grand. He taught me how to love. I cried a lot in 2016 and I knew 2017 would be the exact opposite. Little did I know that the tears would be nothing compared to what I had ever known. I lost someone very dear to me. I mourned her greatly but I am glad she died. The 2016 me had to die for the 2017 me to emerge and so there was a rebirth of me J

I learnt that there is no better confidant than Jesus. If you have not spoken to Him first about a matter, the arm of flesh will fail you greatly. I learnt that people will hear and interpret things you say in light of where they are and their motives not necessarily with how you feel in mind. I learnt how to mount guard over my heart and mouth. I learnt that mercy truly is real and available to as many as reach out to receive. I learnt that just before a major victory, there would be a major hurdle your response to that hurdle determines if you would attain the victory.

2017 taught me to love in the midst of hurt, pain, betrayal. 2017 showed me who I really was. She showed me how much of regeneration my heart needs to go through, how impossible it is to love without first receiving the love of God. 2017 showed me destiny helpers. 2017 showed me the depravity of humanity. 2017 showed me weaknesses I had no idea I had and strengths I had no idea I could wield. 2017 taught me to trust God. 2017 taught me that the best friend anyone could have is Jesus. I love my friends dearly and fiercely but they cannot any more take the place of Jesus. That was a grave mistake I made in 2017 and it cost me greatly. 2017 taught me loyalty. 2017 taught me to hear people beyond the words they speak and beyond their actions. Not to be paranoid though but to hear the motives and intents of words spoken. The Scriptures came alive to me this year again.

I cried a lot this year again, almost every single day in the months of May, July, August and September. I learnt how to praise God in the midst of it all. I learnt how to see calamity before me and not lose my confidence in Him. I am learning quite a lot still but I should stop here.

I would leave these words with you; “there is nothing amazing as trusting God: everything else will fail if the foundation is not on trusting God.”

Seasons Greetings from {erry’s Tots.

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Love. Learn. Inspire.