My first major episode was in my fifth year in medical school, I remember walking to my room but certain I was going to explode. I called my friend who I felt would not judge me, he tried to calm me down but I told him I needed to seek help and what does he think about going to the psychiatrist. I wanted to be sure I was normal seeing as I was willing to get help myself. I guess I needed to be sure because of the stigma associated with mental health. I shared how I overcame that episode here.
After that episode, I believed I had been healed and it wasn’t going to happen again but that isn’t the case. I’ve had several episodes after that, however, the fact that I identified my triggers and pay close attention to my mind or mental health has helped me manage it. If you ask me what I want or cherish most in life I’ll say happiness. I feel the gift of happiness is underrated. Anyone who has ever been depressed will tell you how he or she adores his or her happiness.
“Guide your heart with all diligence for out of it comes the issues of life.”
Being depressed is like sitting still in a crowded room with several activities going go while you watch but your mind is messed up; thinking pattern flawed but it makes complete sense to only you.
Sometimes my thought goes like this, “since we are all going to die in the end, why bother?.” “Why do we have to hope, hold on, keep fighting, make effort or care. God already knows the end from the beginning, no matter what happens in the end whether it makes you sad or happy, you can’t question God.”
However, reinforcing the fact that my life is not my own and whatever happens God is in charge and I don’t have to stress about how things go but just do my own part relives the emotion. Although it doesn’t always work, I just watch romantic movies or sleep. Love makes living worth it.Haha
I was watching a children TV program one Sunday and the boy said, “If you know God you wouldn’t be depressed.” I was so upset because that’s like saying if you know God you wouldn’t have malaria or hypertension. This statement is why someone would rather not seek help because they don’t want to be judged.
How I Get By:
– Once I’m sliding I talk to my friend about the trigger and most of the time they help remove the cloak of hopelessness. Sometimes I just crawl into my shell.
- Going to social events like book readings, stage plays, cinema help me refuel.
Writing is an important avenue to exhale.
Take bible plans on depression using the YouVersion app.
Take a break.
Make conscious effort not to continue down the path regardless of how difficult it might seem.
You should not be ashamed to seek professional care if required.
We should all be very observant and be our brother’s keeper. The person around you might be planning their death and you might never know. I’ve had several episodes without my roommates discovering.
• Depression is a mood disorder characterized by feeling of persistent sadness, hopelessness and loss of interest in previously enjoyable activities for at least two weeks.
• It is not mood swing.
• Triggers: Loss of a close relative or friend, mental/physical abuse, childbirth, unemployment, bullying, peer pressure, drug abuse, nutritional deficiencies, unrealized goals, disappointments, betrayals, loneliness, broken relationships.
• Depression is not something that you just tell go away, you have to work at it, taking charge of your emotions. It is a mood disorder, unlike malaria, it requires support and encouragement for you to overcome it.
• It can be treated.
Nigeria suicide hotlines: +234 806 210 6493, +234 809 210 6493, +234 908 021 7555, +234 903 440 0009, +234 701 381 1143.
Seek help, you’re not alone.