Day 12: Keji

My name is Morenikeji Aaron.
Thank you Dr P. for the opportunity to write.
Thank you for your patience too.

I’ve been putting my thought together since I decided to write, but putting it on paper became an issue, I blame procrastination.

When I finally decided to write, I wrote 5 pages full, the story of my 2018.

So eventful! The year started so well. I didn’t know how good the year would turn out but I got a word from God during my December retreat and that birthed my dance during the cross over. I danced like a winner(the video still makes me laugh).

2018 my year of growth.

I learnt that I’ve got only one chance to live on earth, I better live well.

So I wrote my story and had to live it.
I read more, attended paid seminars, conferences, built meaningful friendships and prayed more. I started a post graduate studies and my NGO became more impactful. I stretched myself; grew step by step but meaningfully.

I didn’t have a too smooth past. It so much had a grip on me. I would not speak up, dress well, laugh out because I didn’t want to be noticed. I hid myself so well. I was scared my scars would be obvious.
Being invisible was the punishment I gave myself.
I forgave myself, yippee.

Forgiving others didn’t come so easily but I worked it out. I spoke to my mirror about offences, and we decided on a good reason to let go. I had to do it intentionally whether the party deserved it or not.

I had gift in form of people.
I realized that what people need from me is to be me, not a celebrity or their mother.
I stopped being perfectly perfect and the joy it brought made me glow.

Last quarter of the year was like a whirlwind; it carried me where I didn’t like. To think I could be depressed was was never a thought I ever considered. I didn’t know it was creeping in until I could not sleep without crying, regretting, blaming myself and so on. I was uncontrollably sad.
To think I teach about it and help people out of it made it worse.

I used my therapy note on myself, I did self talk, begged friends to stay with me for fear of hurting sleep, no food.
I began to lose touch with everything and everyone I love at that point…

A friend told me that night, “Keji,when you’ve done all to stand, stand.”
I ran to a field to pray, like a crazy woman… I begged for my life, maybe 6 or 9 hours, till my voice was gone.
I wrote love letters to myself. I told people I love how much I missed them.
I stayed with the word.

I’m writing this note to remind myself that I am strong, beautiful and amazing.

I learnt that each of us has a part to play in healing the society.
I took up the challenge, talked more to teenagers about their sexuality, abstinence, moral values and self development. Before Christmas, together with my team, I visited a community to evangelize, give welfare packages and talk about role everyone should play to have a happy and God centered family.
2018 was fulfilling afterall .

I grew this year and 2019 is surely my year of refreshing.

Season’s Greetings from Perry’s Tots.🎄🎄

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