I find this very weird, but this is who I have been for quite some time now, I think I made the decision to intentionally change this pattern in June this year. Prior to this time, feel free to call me someone who focuses more on the negatives; the times that didn’t work, the horrible experiences, the hurt, the pain and the rest of it. Mind you, I tend to journal a lot, but my past journal reflects only the pain, agony and times where I fell out of fellowship with God.
Allow me to cut this right there and acknowledge Pero for her good works. So much has been happening since November and really if you don’t look back, seek within and reach to God’s work to take a sneak peek at where your life is heading… you might just lose not only your mind but your self as well. So I am happy to be journaling on your blog today, it’s caused me to reflect on how my year went and this is leaving me with so much level of peace and joy even though I have a red bank account, bills to sort out and lives to care for.
Launching into 2019
I was scared, I felt like adulting had finally come and I was going to be faced with the most daunting challenges. Anyway, I gathered myself together and set goals (trust me they were unrealistic). I had activities set out for the year on the kind of exercise to do, books to read, amount to save, courses to take, brands to work with, jobs to do… Just me when I say I had it sorted, and nobody was going to tell me nothing. However, I had some desires, they were just there right on the inside. I really wanted to travel, set up my business, social enterprise and be independent financially. I thank God because even at the tail end these dreams were made possible. Though, I am still figuring out the money aspect. Like, how to strike a balance between we are God’s stewards, save save save and wooo… I can’t come and kill myself.
Best and worst moments of the year
Now, I am almost losing my strain of thought because they have come again (Humans) but anyway, the worst part of my year and the best part of my year were created by “Human beans and Human beings” I had downtimes especially with my finances – I got broke trying to run projects, sustain a team and cause my businesses to thrive. I fell out with people, kissed clients and jobs bye-bye but through it all, God sustained me. He provided and clothed me. Oh yeah! One major part of the year I struggled with was fighting wars with myself. A part of me constantly felt like a fraud, I had past traumas (family rooted) that I had to deal with. I had to tell myself over and over that, I was good enough. I had to remind myself that I wasn’t birth to toil or labour. So dear, don’t fill your head up with negatives of your past, you are made for so much more than you can see now!
The Hope that I have lies in the lesson I have learnt, will learn and in the destiny, God birth me for!
I have learnt that;
Ps. I think everyone should try to journal often or at least take pictures to help me save the moments. I had to go back to my photos and my journals even as I wrote this because life happens quickly, everything could come so fast at you making you forget key points that you need to preserve for the next generation.
That is it, by the way, I hope my stories inspire you.
Love you loads!
Season Greetings from Perry’s Tots.
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