Day 15: Ifeoma Ndigwe


I don’t know how to write this. I’m not even completely sure I still know how to write but I’ll start somewhere and see where we go.

The most truthful way to start this is:

2016 was a shit year all round.

2016 saw dreams shattered for those who still dream.

2016 opened eyes to a depth of hatred some people didn’t even know was possible.

2016 was a shock of a year but selfishly…2016 was an amazing year for me.

And I want to tell you of how I’m afraid this world is too toxic for coming generations.

I want to tell you that we’ve almost lost the window to hand over a world better than the one we met here.
But I won’t. Simply because, in a form quite familiar to generation whatever the shit we’re called, I’m selfishly talking about my year and my year was quite amazing.

It was complete with
TRIALS- Exams as big as they come, pain so profoundly deep our surfaces weren’t even rattled as we were collapsing, shame only a Catholic background can teach.

HILARITY– They smiled at us, they sneered at us and we saw the difference. They laughed at us, they laughed with us and we knew the difference. We laughed in pain, we laughed in joy and we felt the difference.

TRIUMPHS: Funny, most people think the big one was the day I got my MBBS . No, that day was stressful. It’s not a day I’d repeat. I had on a dress I liked on a shoe I loved. None of them were comfortable. I paid someone to turn my face into an orange mask which admittedly was a work of art but ultimately was uncomfortable. I took a lot of pictures that I dread to see. The only thing amazing about that day was my entire family was there and they were proud but it honestly isn’t the proudest they’ve been of me. I think. I hope.

CHALLENGES: The obvious challenge I had this year except for the mannequin challenge, were exams. Another was myself. I’m still coming to terms with parts of me. Nothing I’ve seen scares me but I’m really amazed at the things I am capable of.

LESSONS: During one very long call in O&G trying to explain my choices, someone said I didn’t love medicine. For the first time in my life, I had a visceral reaction in defence of medicine. THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED.
He implied that I don’t love medicine and the gist of my reply was this: I love medicine. I just don’t love only medicine. My frustration with medicine came only when I realised that although I’m a multi-tasker, I am unable to give life to more than 2 of my passions at once. But I love this job. I’m good at it and I’m beyond grateful for it. I don’t believe I’ll be me without it. I’ll be amazing but not this version of amazing.

Another lesson – “When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it”

2016 had many ugly times but I was good for the fight. I spent this year thinking about silver linings. There is always one if you’re looking for it.
I am thankful for so many people/things. Family, friends, colleagues.
I finally understood that statement about not underestimating the importance of working with competent people. I made new friends at work.
2017 should see me bettering my personal relationships. For example, I love my family extended and nuclear beyond human comprehension. I think of them at least once a day. I don’t think they all know.
I love the Lord more than anything, definitely more than I show him.
I love medicine more than she deserves. She knows. I hope to make solid decisions and be prepared for it too.
I love Nigeria more than it loves me. If I could, I’ll wait for it to miss me, to love me back on a beach in another country but ebee ka I gba eje? Uwa nkea abughi ebe obibi!

I pray this coming year brings unbelievable blessings but I don’t want to be smiling while the roof of a church is falling on 60 people. I want to talk less next year. I know some of y’all already thinking I ain’t never heard her speak in the 7 years I known her and she be talking about talking less??



Seasons Greetings from Perry’s Tots.🎄🎆

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