“What’s the tears for…? You asked for it and I gave it to you and all you have chosen to do is cry.
That’s surely a way to say thank you I suppose” That’s the voice of the Holy Spirit reprimanding the act I have been displaying for a couple of days. Been crying non-stop for a couple of days wondering why it had to be me.
And with that statement came back the jolt to reality, dawning on me a clearer picture of why all this is happening and with that sounding voice I immediately found my peace. Quickly I dried my tears and silently offered a prayer of apology to the Holy Spirit stating how sorry I was and reminding him that I’m only human and I didn’t know how to act.
That statement was a confirmation of all the truth I had been running away from which brought my mind to the Scripture in “Psalm 119:130 that says “The unfolding of your words gives light; it imparts understanding to the simple. I have been praying on for clarity on quite a number of things and been telling God to reveal himself and when he did give me what I ask for all I chose was to cry and count my losses.
I had started the year on a rough note I must say, there was so many uncertainties and many cloudy plans. I wasn’t sure of the direction my life was taking and it does looks like I was chasing shadows. Even though I do look like have got my life all put together truth was in I was in bad shape and it was beginning to affect my mental health. I was also struggling day in day out andwith all that was happening in the world keeping the hope alive was even becoming a problem. I was falling apart and desperate for answers and I knew I was ready to step out of where I was but I didn’t know how.
But In the midst of all this finally came my miracle. God sent his help to me through a friend who had introduced me to a prayer group during the pandemic, it was a time I needed God the most but was in denial thinking I can handle this and I have got my big girls pants on. Even though I wouldn’t refer to myself as a very spiritual individual I had been praying so hard and kept wondering why I wasn’t getting answers. Happily I took on the offer and I must say it was one of the best decisions I made in 2020 because not only did the group impacted positively in my life in ways that I can’t even imagined, it further opened my eyes to the fact that all I needed was within me and I just had to tap into it. Over the years I had thought to myself that I have been involving God in all I was doing but the truth was I was actually making the decisions myself, forcing God to see things in my light and saddling God with the responsibility of ‘Oh! Please Jesus fix this, fix that without actually letting him take the wheel and do his job. Dictating to God what I wanted instead of focusing on what he required of me.
This was also the year God took it all, it was the year the Holy Spirit humbled me. I believe he’s had a fill of me doing it my own way and he was ready to take on the whole ship with or without my permission and that was exactly what God did. Hetook hold of all of me and had me listening and willing to do his will. He gave me clarity and with his help I have been able to re-claim my life. And I must say even though I wasn’t prepared for all that had happened, I’m amazed at how I have been able to pull through reminding myself of how strong of a woman I was and how much God will always be there for me.
Despite all what the year had brought, God flipped the script on me “He endowed me with the gift of the Holy Spirit this same year, He connected me with great minds, I finally had the courage to start my podcast. He enlarged my heart and mind to understand the power that he has vetted in me while giving me a new purpose.
It was indeed my year of “Re-branding. I’m grateful for how far God has brought me, for the people he’s also brought into my life. And I must say I’m proud of the woman God is making out of me even though my life is full of so many imperfections and flaws and I’m still learning on a daily. I have come to learn that God hasn’t given up on me, he’s re-shaping me for his purpose and I can fully rest in him.
Bringing me to say this that we should always keep our trust in him and there’s a reason for every season.
I do believe the coming year would be nothing short of love, happiness, fulfillment, breakthrough and most important all of God.
Happy New Year!!!
Compliments of the season from Perry’s Tots.🎄