I want to start by saying a big thank you to Adepero Ajayi for featuring me on her blog. Thank you for not giving up on me.
In retrospect, I feel this year 2020 was all about MIND-SHIFT for me.
I started this year all energetic, wanting to make solid decisions about key areas of my life. I wanted to read more books, invest more, be intentional about being sociable, consciously build relationships etc. I also hoped this year was going to be the year I would meet “the one”..lol I think I made a bit of progress until life happened.
Anyways, Corona came in and forced us to stay home more, then the protests. A lot of things happened during this period. I realised how much having my family and friends around meant to me, not just because I wanted them alive but also because I needed them to stay sane. I had a mild brush up with depression for about four months which I refused to acknowledge even though I was experiencing all the classic symptoms but I thank God first of all, that I had to continue going to work (essential worker privilege) which meant I didn’t have the option of shutting out the world physically like I was doing on my phone and it helped me somewhat. I couldn’t bring myself to seek help even though I knew I needed one (speaking up about mental health is actually not as easy as we think) until God in his mercies sent a friend who was on my case until I opened up. He was able to help me identify the triggers and that was the beginning of my healing. I’m still healing. If I learnt anything during this period, it was that God truly sees the end from the beginning and makes decisions in advance for our good. I now count the fact that I live close to my place of work premium blessing.
Coming out of this experience brought my relationship with God to a whole new level. I started being extra sensitive to see how God is working in even the tiniest details of my life. Like, I have been wowed. It’s amazing. It makes me marvel everyday how much God loves me. I know He has always loved me but I now know it by experience. I stopped trying to impress God so to say, I starting doing everything I do because of who He has made me already, not just because of guilty conscience. In all, I judge God faithful. I now appreciate people better because I now know every single person is important. We are all social beings, no matter how unsocial we think we are. I now thank God intentionally, I better understand what it means to trust God and I’m learning to believe him all over again. I see things differently and I judge people less. Indeed, I have received mercy.
2020 isn’t over yet.. It’s still the year.
2021 is looking bright already. I can’t wait to be surprised by how God would make all these plans he is showing me come to pass. All things truly work together for our good.
Thank you for reading.
Compliments of the season from Perry’s Tots.🎄
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